In a perfect world, all of the conversations we have would end the way we want them to. Once you’re in agreement, commit to the resolution and make sure there is an action plan going forward. For example, if you’re telling an employee they didn’t get a raise, explain why and offer solutions on how they can improve. Listen to their ideas if they have any and bring some of yours to the table as well. If the solution isn’t clear from the beginning, work together to come up with one that you both agree on. The goal of having this conversation is to reach a resolution. Try not to let your feelings get in the way of a resolution. Not every conversation is going to go your way and not everyone is going to agree with your point of view. Identify where either person went wrong and discuss the impact of this conversation on each of you, the team and the organization as a whole. Take responsibility for your part in the situation and focus on the facts. Stick to the factsīefore your conversation, have a clear idea of what happened. We’ve provided some examples of how to do this in the section below. It’s a huge part of what differentiates constructive and critical feedback. Starting your sentence with “I” instead of “You” avoids put-downs, promotes positive communication and fosters enthusiasm to find a solution. If they start to get emotional, understand how they must be feeling and reassure them that you’re providing this feedback because of the potential you see in them. If you see they’re struggling with what you said, pause for a minute so they can gather their thoughts. Think about what it might feel like to be on the receiving end of the conversation. Being able to listen and communicate effectively will not only help you resolve the current problem together but will help your relationship long-term. They might tell you something that changes your mind, and you don’t want to be so committed to your initial assessment that you don’t hear it if they do.” Listening to their perspective lets the other person know you’re acknowledging their feelings. “Feedback shouldn’t be a monologue,” explains Ask a Manager’s Alison Green, “It should be a discussion, and it’s important to listen to the other person’s perspective. Be open to the other person’s perspective You’re never going to get what you want unless you ask. It’s cliche, but opportunities are rarely offered they’re seized.” If you’re asking for a raise or promotion, take initiative, begin the conversation with confidence and get to your point quickly. According to Facebook’s Sheryl Sandberg, “feeling confident - or pretending you feel confident - is necessary to reach for opportunities. If you approach it as an uncomfortable situation-it will be one. The person on the other end of the conversation will likely pick up on your energy. Remember, we’re all human and no one wants to be approached with a laundry list of issues. If you hone in on the root of the problem right away, you lessen the probability of the conversation getting away from you. What do you want to get out of the conversation? Write down three things you want to accomplish and focus on them. Make feedback a common occurrence, and get in the habit of addressing issues immediately as they arise. Just like Apple co-founder Steve Jobs said, your job is not to be easy on people. You can also build up anxiety that will make the situation bigger in your mind than it really is. Don’t avoid itĭifficult conversations can become more difficult the longer you wait. Here are a few tips to help make these conversations easier. Help make feedback a natural aspect of your organization and frame your thinking so that it’s key to growth and development. It’s common for defenses to be high when difficult conversations roll around, so it’s key that you have a plan for when they do. Nine tips for handling difficult conversations at work So, how do we encourage tough conversations and handle them eloquently? We’ll tell you how and check out our infographic below for some quick tips. If you’re not having them, you’re not growing, she says. Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg encourages her employees to have tough conversations at least once a week. Seventy percent of employees avoid difficult conversations in the workplace, according to a study by career-coaching startup Bravely, this can lower morale and cause a toxic work environment. You know when you have to talk to Justin about how he keeps showing up 45 minutes late or Ashley because she’s underdelivering on projects? We’ve all been there. They’re awkward, sometimes unpleasant but, ultimately, inevitable in any workplace dynamic.
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